Yes, it seems another whale is being blamed for the tragedy of human idiocy. On Wednesday, Tilikum (yes thats right, not all whales are named “Shamu”) drowned his trainer. A KILLER whale KILLED a trainer. Extraordinary. As it turns out, this is not the first victim of this particular whale. Lets investigate:
Victim #1: Whale gets taken out of ocean and sent to Canada. Whale is pissed. Whale starts a whale gang and with the help of his first two initiates they drown their trainer. Whale is sent to Florida.
Victim #2: Whale still pissed. Man sneaks into park after hours. Man jumps in whale pool. Man dies. Whale put into solitary confinement.
Victim #3: Whale’s only contact with other whales are for breeding purposes, which is whenever the people at Sea World decide they want a new baby whale to indoctrinate with signals made by dead fish, because this somehow proves their intelligence. Whale then forced to preform cheap tricks during dinner theater for snot-nosed tots and their kook parents. Whale gets hit with one dead fish too many, realizes he is still pissed, grabs trainer by her braid and releases 12,000 lbs. of pent up whale rage.
Victim #4: Whale. Now made a monster by the media, his fate floats high in the air. Death? Continued isolation? Certainly not freedom.
Maybe we should apply some of this human compassion that everyone loves to talk about to this situation; if you were a whale that got ripped from your mother ocean by a strange biped alien race, put in a pool until your spirit was broken, then trained to respond to cues in a foreign tongue while more aliens laughed, pointed and threw dead fish at you, you’d wanna f*ck some people up too. FREE TILIKUM!!!!!
See me with the children? I love (eating) children! I just want to swim without hitting my face against a glass wall!
{ 1 Comment }
I agree Devon.